My youngest son (Eddie) has just returned from a month away travelling around Europe and he had a fantastic time away. We were in contact most days and there were regular updates and photos, so we felt connected, even though he was miles away.
When we picked him up from the airport, Eddie shared some stories of his trip, which made us laugh, and he kept some stories to himself, which was probably a wise choice. Yesterday we went for lunch, just to catch up a bit more, and really enjoyed spending time talking.
I think it is very easy to live in the same house as people, but become quite distant. Our lives are busy and we all have things we want to do, have to do and, some things, we begrudgingly do, so it is normal to not have time to catch up properly. We probably have better conversations with our daughter, now she no longer lives with us. We take the time to call and prioritise our conversations, whereas, when she lived at home it was like ‘ships in the night’.
Those of you that have children know that they can get complacent at home, expect things to be done, paid for and to be there for them, which is normal. Suddenly, when they leave home ( the 5 star hotel) they realise how good they had it, living at home with Mum and Dad and that is when you know they are nearly there!
When I grew up, I was in the RAF at 18, independent, structured, disciplined and responsible for everything that happened to me. I made my own choices, made many mistakes and had to be accountable for my actions. I called home and had chats with my parents, especially when I needed advice and guidance, but as time went on, their worry and concern for me reduced and we had ‘different’ conversations.
It is a great place to be when you no longer have to worry about certain things, when it comes to your children, although there is always a healthy set of questions that seem to pop up in all occasions, such as; “Are you sure you can afford that?” or “Is this the right choice for your future?”
I think, as parents, we always think we have the edge over our kids, but things are changing so fast and the world is a different place. The future is being shaped by technology and this is the ‘norm’ for our children, and grandchildren, so it’s not something to worry about, they will handle it.
The importance of having conversations, meeting face to face and really engaging with people will never change. The human being thrives on interaction and contact and you really feel and miss that when you only communicate via tech. We spoke to Eddie, at least, every 2-3 days on a call, we text most days, but spending time with him over lunch yesterday was the best feeling. Seeing his face light up when he shared his experiences, feeling everything as if we had been there with him, was priceless.
So, from my recent experience, my advice would be to connect, make the effort and remember that we all crave ‘real’ communication, so, book in time to meet and really connect with others, it’s the best investment of time.