Last Friday I was on my way to pick my Son up from the local skate park at around 8pm. On my way I noticed that the car in front of me did not have their rear lights working, which could have resulted in an accident, so I decided to flash my head lights to warn them. They didn’t seem to want to stop so, at the traffic lights, I pulled along side them, with my window down, and tried to tell the passenger about this.
When I looked at the occupants in the car, it was 2 young ladies, and I did the hand signal to wind the window down, but instead of doing that the passenger looked horrified, spoke to the driver and they sped off! I was horrified. I now thought they were frightened of me and all I was doing was trying to help them. When I got home I told my wife about this and then I suddenly laughed as I was recalling the turn of events.
I realised that the girls were that young and they may never have even been in a car with wind down, manual, windows before. So, the hand movement I was making could have been mis-understood, which mortified me. Instead of being angry I saw the funny side of things but also felt sad that the world has come to this and that I was seen as a threat due to the situation and, possible, previous life experiences the girls have had.
Fortunately someone else also noticed their lights were ‘out’ and tried to let them know as well, so I felt better knowing that they would realise I was trying to help them.
It is so important to get things right and clear, but it is sometimes a very thin line we tread. Communication has never been so easy but also so difficult to get right. The situation, context, intent can get mixed up, depending on what’s going on in the news, the books you read, the people you mix with and your own beliefs. Freedom of speech allows us to explain our views but it also allows others to disagree and, if we use this ability well, we can be creative, resolve issues, collaborate and be heard, to make a difference in life.
Due to the pandemic we have turned to virtual communication and social media to reach out, express our feelings and connect with others. I have invested more time in watching the news, getting local updates and looking globally at different approaches Countries are taking. I have watched illegal gatherings, crowded beaches and had my opinion, as did everyone else. I am more aware now of the spin the media puts on things and that looking at things from a few more perspectives is useful, if not crucial.
Tomorrow will be the year to date when we went into our first lockdown. It has been a strange year with many differing emotions. It started with a sense of holiday time, hot weather and being told to stay at home had its benefits, but that was the honeymoon period! We moved into uncertainty and worry about work, income, duration, impact on family and mental health. I think we have done well to survive as we have. I am still optimistic and can see the end coming, maybe not as cleanly as we’d like, but it’s nearly there.
If you have managed to get through this without ‘losing it’ a few times, then you have done well and I take my hat off to you. We have had a really tough year, with certain family issues, but have stayed strong as a tight unit. We have talked, walked (a lot) disagreed and argued, cried and shouted, but always resolved issues and got through it. I have to thank the people around me for all of their support, empathy and advice, it’s all been helpful.
Sometimes this support came in the form of silence and space or sometimes listening and saying nothing. There was empathy and shared experiences, harsh realities and truth, with straight forward honesty. I was told things I didn’t want to hear, but knew anyway, and given painful messages I didn’t want to acknowledge, but needed to process, and it all came from a place of love and good intent.
Thank you, we made it together!