Spring is here and we have had some delightful sunny days recently. It does make it easier to be upbeat, get jobs done and puts an extra bounce in your step. Not that the weather is ‘the’ determining factor, but it is a considerable one for most. I did get a few more things done this weekend, including cleaning the car which was well needed.
Today we welcome another foster child in to our home and it’s a ‘nervy’ time for us all. We have only seen him on a zoom call and been briefly introduced. He is 17 years old and seems keen to continue his education and move on with his life, I only hope we can provide him with the support he needs and are able to help him along his path to independence. There will be rules to establish and we all need to agree how we all want to live together, Simple things like using the bathroom, cleaning up, respecting each other and individual space.
I am sure that the success of his next few years are largely dependant on how he wants to engage and progress. We will support him with education, cooking, shopping, budgeting, social etiquette, goal setting and action planning. One step at a time and eventually he will be where he wants to be, or not. Some of the young people we have supported have decided to go their own way, rebel and follow different paths.
I had one young lad, who lived with us for 18 months (about 5 years ago) FaceTime me last week, to say hi. He was 2.5 years clean from drugs but still had 6 months to go in prison. His life had been a rollercoaster ride of drug abuse, criminal activity and violence, and, although we offered him so much support, he was not ready to help himself at that time in his life. He is now planning on doing things differently and making something of himself so he can support his Son.
Lao Tzu quote in Tao Te Ching: ‘When the student is ready the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready The teacher will Disappear. ‘
I think this is the way it is with the young people we deal with and has certainly been the case with my own children. As most of you know, I like football, playing and watching it, and when my eldest Son was developing his skills, he never asked me to teach him. He always listened to his coaches and the players around him, even to other players Dad’s, who never played much football in their lives! I must admit he’s turned out to be a better footballer than I ever was, so he probably made the right choice.
This is the same for all of us, when we are ready to learn, engage or change, we seek to find support or guidance, until then we probably carry on doing what we have always done, with the same results.
A quote I like is: If you want something different, do something different. Insanity is to carry on doing, what you have always done, and expect different results.
What results do you want to change in your life? What do you need to do differently?