My Son was getting excited about his planned holiday to Mallorca, on the 3rd August, when the news about Spain having a second spike came in. I could tell that emotionally he was still planning on going, so I left it a while before I had a conversation with him! If I’d have told him he couldn’t go I am sure I’d have had some resistance, so I opted on a different approach.
I asked him how it would affect his earnings when he returned, having to isolate for 14 days and not being able to work. I then moved onto the impact it would have on his football as he wouldn’t be able to go to training or play in the pre-season friendlies that had been arranged, which, would probably mean he wouldn’t get a first team place straight away. I could see the pain in his eyes. My next thread of questions was going to be about the knock on affect it would have on the family but I didn’t need to hammer the nail home, he ‘got it’.
Eventually he asked me how to get a refund. No arguments, no resistance and no falling out, all because I allowed him space to think and time to make his own decision.
This communication strategy does not always work and there are times when I have needed to be a bit more direct and tell my kids what they can or can’t do but, over time, this has been less of a requirement and it feels nice.
People can generally make great decisions, unless emotions take over. The older I get the more I feel in control of certain emotions. Not all emotions, but certain ones. Anger is now low on the list of my emotional responses and it takes a lot to get me over the edge. Nowadays I am more likely to cry when I hear an emotional story or watch a sad film. I feel overwhelmed when people do amazing things to help others or if they have had a hard time reaching their goals.
I also feel inspired by success stories and love to hear of ‘rags to riches’ tales where someone kept on dusting themselves off or just didn’t give up.
With CV-19 affecting all of us, I am sure there will be many sad stories to tell. There will be so many resilient people dusting themselves off and rebuilding their lives, others creating new futures by being creative and innovative. Some will lose everything and will, eventually, have to reinvent themselves and claw their way up again.
Wherever you are, just remember, there is always someone there to talk to, someone to support and help you make choices you want to make. There are good people around you who will go out of their way to help. They might not give you the answers but they will help you find your answers and guide you to do the right thing.
There is no point putting on a brave face and saying “Everything is great” when, deep down, you are suffering. Reach out, help is all around you, you just have to ask!
If you are one of the ‘lucky’ ones and life is good, then now is the time to look to help others. It might be a family member, friend or a complete stranger. What can you do to help?
It could be that, by having a conversation you help someone process their thoughts and make a good decision.