I planned my travel, last week, to make sure I arrived in Newcastle early enough to check in to my hotel, have something to eat and get an early night, before delivering a workshop for a client the following 2 days.
Everything went well. I landed at the right time (no delays) got an Uber to the hotel and had time to explored a bit of Newcastle. I had a couple of drinks in the Union Rooms and then ventured out for a bite to eat. I found a Miller and Carter and had a great meal.
On my way back to the hotel (Not even 8pm) I passed a bar and, all of a sudden, a couple of guys tipped out shouting at each other. There was an older guy pushing a younger lad out of the bar, just as I walked past. I took a look, then a second look, and decided that this was a situation that could be calmed down. I grabbed hold of the young lad and pulled him away and up the street and, with a bit of cajoling, he stopped engaging with the argument and walked away with me.
We had a chat, he told me his side of the story and we got away from the problem. He introduced himself and thanked me for stepping in. He, Jordan, must have been about 17 and I hoped that if my Son was in the same predicament, someone might help him out in that situation.
Jordan was obviously a bit worse for wear and we walked up the street talking about stuff. I got to the turning to my hotel, gave him a couple of pounds for his bus fare home, he fist bumped me a few times, did the pinky finger promise “thing” and shook my hand before opening a can of stella and going on his way.
It would have been so easy to ignore this incident, not get involved and go on my merry way, but something triggered a different response. My sense of justice and fairness kicked in. I hate bullies. I can’t stand people being unfair and I like the fact that, with some reasoning, I might have changed the events of that evening, for the better, for everyone involved.
It could have all gone wrong and I might have been the middle man getting the brunt of someone else’s deal, it has been known to happen before and I have the scars to prove it, but not this time.
Human instinct is amazing. It gives you an immediate sense of danger, it helps you to instantly decide how to act in any given situation. However, instinct on it’s own can be dangerous and you need to be able to use experience and understanding to be able to maximise the power of the human response to threat.
Our fight / flight response can cause more problems, in the long term, if it is overused, in the immediate situation. The beauty of being able to think, and rationalise things, is not always present, when we are under threat, and we often over react. Fortunately, in this case, I was not under threat so could think before I acted. The other two people involved had, obviously, gone into fight mode…
With the amount of change in the world, we are pushed to the limits far too often, resulting in a threat response, probably on a daily basis. For some people certain things are uncomfortable, I remember being asked to do my first presentation when I was 19 and in the R.A.F – my car broke down that day and I avoided the experience!
The good thing is we can develop our ability to cope with things, if necessary or if we want to. I now present to numerous audiences on a regular basis and enjoy the experience but it has taken some work and I have felt like running away at times! I now see presenting as an opportunity rather than a threat, which changes everything.
Do you have anything that you currently view as a threat that, if you changed your view to an opportunity, it might create excitement instead of nerves?