Last week I celebrated another Birthday and enjoyed the day spending time with my family. I noticed that, this year, I got a few more ‘physical’ cards which was a pleasant surprise and made me feel appreciated as a friend, Father, Son and Husband.
The social media platform didn’t let me down either. There were messages from old (literally) friends, new friends and also strangers, connected via ‘connections’. People took a few moments out of their busy day to send Birthday wishes and it was appreciated.
It’s easier, cheaper and acceptable, not to send Birthday cards and post something on social media to show someone you are thinking of them. You even have FaceBook to remind you when things are going on, LinkedIn to prod your memory or share changes about your connections – it’s actually harder to forget certain events nowadays!
The complicated side of this is that you don’t really know what is going on with that person. You can see a ‘happy, life is great’ profile but the reality could be different. The superficial layer, we see, can often mislead us and can be far from the truth.
I suppose that the ‘alarm bell’ for some people is when they go quiet and become invisible. No posts, no comments, no likes or if they become too active and have strong views on everything. Drastic changes in behaviour are quite often an indicator that someone is struggling with something. Having a face to face conversation can be the thing that is needed just to show that you are actually there for someone.
I don’t go and see some of my mates or family as often as I should and I think this is due to my upbringing, with my Dad being in the RAF, and me joining at 18, we moved every 2-3 years. My attachment to friends has always been with an understanding that one of us will move away soon. In the old days we had to write letters to keep in touch, so that didn’t happen. Having said that, if any of my RAF mates posted something on social media saying they were in Bournemouth, we would meet for a beer and start where we left off, with no hesitation.
It doesn’t take much to cheer someone up. A quick hello, a thank you, a coffee and chat or even a complimentary comment on social media can have the desired affect. I do think that the physical, ‘real’ communication is the best and is longer lasting. I still have my Birthday cards in a pile on my desk. I read the words and comments and it makes me smile and feel good. FaceBook has moved on, LinkedIn is sharing other stuff and who knows what Snapchat has done!
Take time to connect this week, try real conversations. Step away from text, email and social media. Start talking again, just for a week.