The past 6 weeks have been fantastic. Time spent on holiday, an opportunity to re-connect with the family and space to breathe.
This also comes with some challenges though. A constant need to entertain, keep busy and fill the void of school time that normally occupies the minds of older children.
The “I’m bored” moments, even on holiday, can drive you mad and frustrate even the most patient parent.
So, as much as I have enjoyed the time, it has come to my attention that I am looking forward to my children going back to school. I realise that, sometimes, I am quite selfish and enjoy doing what I want to do, without worrying about everyone else’s plans.
When Sandra is at work and the children are at school I can plan the day around those times and my ‘activities’. The gym gets more visits, the bike is used more and my runs along the beach are more consistent – nothing affects my plans. I can do my work from the beach office, arrange meetings and move freely!
This is why I do what I do, I need the autonomy and without it I can feel demotivated, stressed and disengaged. I really love spending time with my family, and we do have a great relationship, so I think a balance is needed to make things work – they need space and so do I.
Understanding each other, what makes us tick and what is important, individually, is vital to building and sustaining great relationships. Often we forget that another person also has needs and we can get too focussed on ourselves and what we want. This not only happens in our private lives with friends and families but can also happen to relationships at work, with colleagues and even our customers / clients.
How often have you gone to speak to someone, focused on an outcome, without even beginning to think the other person may have different ideas?
This often happens when it comes to sales. If I want to sell you my product or services that’s what I am focussed on, when actually, I should find out what you need first and then see if I have something that can add value.
I know it’s obvious but how many times do you get a phone call from someone trying to sell you something you already have or don’t want?
Stephen Covey (The 7 Habits) says that “We should seek to understand, before being understood” which I think is true if you want to build strong sustainable relationships – in business or life.
If I reflect on some of the conflicts I have had in my life, most of them would have been avoided if I had just taken time out to understand other people first!
How about you?