Having been away recently I had time to do some people watching, which is a favourite past-time of mine!
It’s amazing that, just by watching people in their natural state (when they don’t know they are being watched) what you can pick up about them.
I appreciate it is not an exact science but you can make some assumptions about people, in a very short period of time, without even talking to them. I saw people dropping litter, leaving rubbish on tables, lose their tempers with children, snap at partners, get impatient in queues and give check-in attendants a hard time.
Every little action gave me a view into their lives, what values they may have and who the really are as a person.
Then there were people having fun, enjoying family time, cuddling partners, reassuring children and playing distraction games. Why the difference?
How you are, is who you are! This is something I remember from a friend of mine and I do agree, the body leaks the truth and, especially when under pressure, messages are sent out for all to see.
I do see differences in behaviour when people are at work vs. when they at at home, but the important things stay the same. They may be more assertive at work, more directive and less engaging but if they are respectful, fair and honest, this will still shine through.
When you don’t think anyone is watching you, what changes for you? Are you patient with your work colleagues and impatient with your family? Are you tough at work but soft at home?
The big thing for me is that we never know what’s going on in someone else’s life so, as much as the body leaks the truth, it doesn’t give you the full picture. It’s easy to judge and make assumptions but true leaders dig deeper, ask questions and give feedback to support and develop others.
I have been working with a group of people for about 4 years now and, in the early days, there was much to work on and develop. It would have been easy to write some of the group off, but we stuck to the plan and have now got a fantastic group of leaders, adding value to their organisation and developing the future leaders.
Haver you ever written someone off because you made a snapshot judgement?
Are you a true leader, ask great questions and understand more? How about trying it out?
It’s like doing a jigsaw puzzle, you only get the real picture after you have most of the pieces.