I had a friend text me a couple of weeks ago, to arrange a catch up coffee. We have known each other for over 25 years and we both live in Bournemouth, but it had been a while since we last met, so we agreed a date, time and venue.
It was great to hear his news, get his family updates and just to connect again. We agreed to meet up on a regular basis as there were also some things we could do to help each other with our businesses.
The following week I had a strange text from him asking if I was available for a chat as he needed someone to talk to. I text back to arrange a call, but heard nothing back that day or the next day. I kept texting and calling but no answer. Eventually he text saying he’d had a really tough week and he’d catch up the following week. I pushed him for a day and time and we agreed a venue.
When we met it was obvious that he’d had some problems and had, had a minor melt down. He’d taken himself to a forest and camped out for a few nights to get his ‘head sorted’ and reduce all the noise / distractions. After about 90 minutes of honest, challenging conversations, mixed with tears and silence, he thanked me for listening and helping him think through things. I really didn’t do much, except listen and reflect back what I was hearing.
He text me later that day to thank me again for my time and he asked if we could meet up again soon. It was nice to hear our time together was useful as it would have been easy to ignore the silence and think “He’ll get in touch if he needs me”. His silence was shouting “Help!” which is why I persisted in trying to catch up with him and I am so glad I did.
I know he would do the same for me if I needed help or someone to talk to and that’s nice to feel that people are there to catch you if you fall or experience a bump in the road. We are probably more aware of the impact of life on our mental health. Work, family, friends, bills, and day to day living can all build up the stress levels and we all need to have strategies to be able to deal with it.
Talking is one of the easiest ways to let off steam, gather your thoughts and plan a way forward. Surround yourself with good people and leverage your strengths with others, it’s harder on your own, or when you think you are alone. Reach out, meet up or just call, there is always someone there.
There have been times where I’ve asked myself the question “What’s it all about, why are we here?” The obvious always comes up, Family, which is quite funny because, sometimes, they are the ones causing the stress ????
I hope that, if you ever feel the need to talk, but don’t think anyone wants to listen, you give your friends and family the opportunity to support you by, at least, asking!
I know that, when my friend reads this, he will know people care and value him as a person and as a good friend and I am sure he will call me for another catch-up soon!