So, tomorrow we say goodbye to our Mum. I didn’t know if it was appropriate to do a MM and mention something that is very sad. My thought is that as we all produce blogs, vlogs, podcasts and content for others, about key messages or stories, so why not share this moment in my life.
My Mum was 81 and has had a tough 9 years, since my Dad died. She suffered an aortic dissection, that should have killed her, followed by two strokes that systematically reduced her ability to be as independent as she wanted to be. She moved from her home in Grimsby, 5 years ago, to be closer to the family and ended up in Bournemouth 4 miles from me.
We had many good times and built memories that we never did when she was in Grimsby. I went from seeing her 4/5 times a year to 4/5 times+ a week. Sometimes I moaned about ‘having’ to go and see her, take her to Costa for a coffee or the beach for a walk. It often took 4 hours out of my day to pick her up and then drop her off. Mum also came to the house and had dinner with us, on a regular basis, and spent time with our kids and grandkids. She loved our ‘smelly’ dog (Billy) and would give him forbidden treats when she thought no-one was watching, sometimes by accident.
6 months ago Mum was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, stage 4, and we were all knocked off our feet again. Because Mum needed more care, due to the gradual debilitating nature of this illness, we all decided that she should move in to a purpose built conversion at my Sisters house. This was tough for Trudi and her partner as this was ‘end of life’ care and it’s a predictable ending.
On May 6th at 04:20 I got the call from Trudi…..
Since that day, we have been organising everything that is required for the funeral. Trying to get things perfect for Mum. We have, as everyone does, strong moments followed by complete loss of emotional control. That’s part of coming to terms with death, I suppose.
The reason I’m sharing this today is to let you know we all have a ‘back story’ and you just never know what’s going on in the lives of others. Many of you, reading this, will have experienced exactly what we are experiencing now. The people around us that give us love, support and understanding are our real friends and we should cherish their friendship.
I will mourn Mum’s death but, mostly, celebrate what a wonderful life she had with us all. She is now dancing on the clouds with my Dad, and, our loss is his gain.
Cherish every moment, take time out for your loved ones, let go of any grudges and make the most of the time you have with your family.