I was out, last week, talking to the builders, they have become friends as they have been here so long! Mark was talking about all the changes he has to make now he is older, and how he has had to slow down with the heavy labouring jobs and focusses more on making sure the younger lads do things right.After a few minutes I said something that surprised even me. I said “I love being this age, my body doesn’t like it sometimes, but I think this is the best time of my life so far” He agreed with and we had a good chat about why that was, and it turns out that, when you reach a certain age, you become comfortable with what life is about.
I understand what life will look like for the next few years, what I will have and what I won’t have, what I can expect or not! I now drive past big houses along Sandbank and other parts of Bournemouth and think “Wow they must take some upkeep!” I use to think “I’ll have a house like that some day” I couldn’t think of anything worse to have a massive house and acres of land to look after, my house is bad enough and it’s never ending, as it is.
I know I’m not prepared to sink myself into long hours and hectic schedules to earn loads of cash because I don’t need loads, I just need enough. The fact that my Mum is ill and doesn’t have long left on our amazing planet, has also put things into perspective. I find myself asking “What’s it all about?” This is commonly known as a crisis of meaning or a midlife crisis but, for me, it’s not a crisis. I am not panicking, worried or stressing about life, I am putting things into perspective.
Do I have to get the house paid off, save loads of money for my children to inherit or invest for their future? It would be nice to give them everything they need but, I think, they miss out on the beauty of value. The value of working to buy your first car, the value of working hard to get a bonus that pays for an amazing holiday, the value of having to make your own life! It feels so much better when you have earned a promotion, won a gold medal and know you did it.
I think, my generation have tried so hard to give our children what we never had, we have spoilt them and given them an entitled view of the world. Don’t get me wrong, my kids are not bad, far from it, but there are some aspects of their lives that make me think I might have made it easy with certain things. And, as I get older I realise, the only thing my kids really want is my love and support, they don’t need my cash (although they are happy to have some!).
Life is what YOU make it. Your reason for being here, your experiences and not about owning a boat, large house or fancy car, because, you leave all of those things behind and your kids sell it all to spend it on their kids – and so the cycle continues…
I can tell that the lens I have looked through, in the past, has changed, as it does for us all. It doesn’t make owning nice stuff wrong, we all want nice stuff, but as I get older it’s not about that anymore.
It’s all about life and the experiences I have left. Watching my kids become adults, the grand children become teenagers and for me and my wife to grow old together. (I’m 10 years ahead of her though!)
Have a great week and enjoy everything that adds value to you and your families.