Well, I went and did it! I ordered the Log cabin for the back garden and this will be my designated office when I am working from home. I looked at several options and opted for a corner unit to maximise the space and minimise the ‘land grab’ in the garden. A friend of helped motivate me to make the decision by sending me a web link to some popular log cabins and, after some “should I, shouldn’t I” moments, I pressed the button.
I also made the decision to put it up myself, as my friend said he did his and it was easy! When the pile of wood turned up, and was left on my driveway, I started having second thoughts. The plans look confusing and, it feels like, I might be missing a few of the vital skills required, to do a great job. The good thing is I have people, around me, that have those skills and they will help me, develop my skill set, by showing me how to do it. (I might be on tea / coffee duty)
One of those people is my Father in-law (Ray) and he seems to be at a loose end at the moment, due to the fact he retired 3 months ago. When I asked for his help he jumped at the chance to help out and seemed excited to be involved. This made me think that he is finding retirement tough. He has worked hard all his life and is use to having banter with his workmates and, ever since his wife died 10 years ago, they have been an important part of his life and he doesn’t see them often now.
I have this romantic vision of retirement being full of fun, holidays and social events whilst having the time to relax and get involved with hobbies that I’d de-prioritised over the years. It’s certainly not like that for everyone and many people struggle with isolation and loneliness. For Ray, he was planning on having his wife with him and being able to do things together, but life plays cruel games sometimes and, for him, it was not to be.
This is where families and friends step in and support those around them but I don’t feel we have done enough since Ray retired. Not because we don’t want to see him or spend time with him but because we are busy and he seems ok every time we speak with him or visit him. Also, he is ‘old school’ so doesn’t complain or moan so it’s difficult to know what’s going on for him.
So, he will be coming down to lend me a hand to build the log cabin and we will have a nice couple of days, not only ‘working’ but socialising and visiting some of the local beauty spots. If I can persuade him to stay a few days, we will take him to Lyme Regis, where he spent his childhood, to see some family members and share some of his memories with us.
It’s easy to forget to connect with family and friends, especially when they live further away than a 10 minute drive. It is important to pick up the phone and arrange a get together and really ‘check in’ with people as, like Ray, they always say “things are ok” but sometimes they are hoping for a little more than a brief conversation.
Who do you need to check in with? I have a list that is growing so I need to make some calls and arrange some golf, a beer, a visit or even a walk along the beach again.
Have a great week, if you need someone to reach out to you, then speak up, talk to someone and share your plans or arrange to do something – even if it’s to help to build a log cabin!