So, in preparation for the cold winter months, I decided to buy a ‘smart’ turbo trainer to do some indoor cycling training. I had a ‘normal’ turbo but I found it really, really boring just cycling on a stand. This turbo actually links up to an app where you can join a group of other riders and compete in real time. You have the event unfold on your screen and you have the choice of multiple events, an array of distances and a plethora of locations, it’s amazing.
The turbo arrived on Friday, late afternoon, so I decided to put it together and set up the app, link the computer to a bigger screen and have a go. Unfortunately, that did not go to plan. I had various other tasks pop up to distract me and the turbo shot down the priority list. It was out of the box, but that was it. I remained patient (very tough and rare for me) and proceeded to do my other tasks which included driving people around so they could do their thing, after all it was a Friday!
Saturday morning arrived ???? and my wife was on a late (starting at 11am) so, as soon as she was out off the door, like a little kid at Christmas, I gathered all of the bits, went to my office and proceeded to set up the turbo, app and bike. The first hurdle was not having an important, very specific, bike tool, so, instead of trying to use a makeshift tool and potentially damage equipment (my normal strategy) I went off to Halfords and, after a quick purchase, I was back in the office getting on with the task.
I used YouTube to watch someone else show me how to do certain things, as I don’t like long winded instructions, and eventually it was all set up. I jumped on the bike and picked a race to make sure it was all working, to familiarise myself with the technology and to navigate through the different aspects of the app. It was fantastic.
Only one thing worried me! The turbo was making some noises that I didn’t know were normal or not. My gear changes seemed a bit clunky and I began to worry. “What if I haven’t got the settings right and I’m damaging the cassette” even worse “What if I break the turbo?” So, another unusual thing for me, I stopped, packed the kit away and decided to wait until I can get my mate, who has used these before, to come around and check it out. He is away this weekend, but I’ll wait, just in case.
It has taken me years and years to be able to be patient and make different choices. I know for a fact, in the past I would have pushed through on the Friday night and got angry being interrupted, I’d have tried to use a screwdriver instead of going out to buy a specific tool and broken parts and I’d have ignored the noises thinking “This must be normal”. I wouldn’t have taken time to look at a video on Youtube and I would have ‘scan read’ the instructions with potential errors being made.
“Patience is a virtue”. I can’t count how many times I have heard that from my Mum and Dad, friends and family and managers / bosses. Eventually, the penny drops but it takes longer for some than others. I find myself telling my kids the same things “Calm down, relax it’s not that bad!” or “Just wait a couple of years and then you’ll be able to afford it”.
Recognising a trait is one thing but being able to change or manage an emotion and a set of behaviours, takes work. It is all possible though. We can learn to be more patient, more methodical, take more care, listen to others, empathise, understand, be more inspirational, have the ability to connect with others, see things from a different perspective.
This is all possible if you have a growth mindset. If you look for opportunity, engage with feedback and internalise any changes that are required.
Henry Ford quote “If you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re probably right”
We can make changes to improve all of these things but we have to believe we can. I have met loads of people over the years who will openly say “It’s just the way I am, I’ve never been good at………” and use it as an excuse / reason not to do something.
For me, it is tougher to read ream and reams of instructions, but I know, if it’s the only way to understand something, I will sit and read the instructions. I may have to take short breaks, go over things a few times and maybe ask someone to clarify things, but I can do it, it just takes more effort and motivation.
What are you aware of that could potentially be holding you back from getting different results? What do you say to yourself about your lifestyle, job, health and fitness, social life, intelligence, capability, motivation or confidence. If you change “I can’t to I can” what impact would that have?
Here is a link to a clip by Carol Dweck about Growth vs Fixed mindset, it’s worth a watch: