Anyone that has helped teach one of their kids (or someone else’s kid) to drive, will know the emotional rollercoaster ride I am experiencing right now. Initially, it was fairly safe and low risk, I took Eddie to an, almost empty, car park and let him practise driving and parking in bays, reversing out and 3 point turns. As he progressed with his ‘proper’ instructor I then started to take more risks, and build on his lessons, and took him on various routes around Bournemouth.
We agreed, up front, that if I said “stop” then he did, as safely as possible, and when I gave him instructions that he listened to me and followed them. We have managed to go out together about 10+ times, so far, and, as expected, he is so much better than the ‘car park’ days.
Yesterday we went for a drive and, as I wanted to go to a garden centre and buy something, I agreed that I take him driving, and kill 2 birds with 1 stone. However, it wasn’t a relaxing drive.
My knowledge of the roads is not like a proper instructors. I drive around these roads all of the time, but, don’t have the knowledge to give advance warnings such as “There will be 3 lanes and you need to be in the middle lane”. This resulted in a couple of, last minute’ changes in my instructions, which didn’t help my student much!
We got back from the drive and Eddie was a bit stressed out. He hadn’t enjoyed the experience as I had changed my mind a few times and put him under pressure. We had a chat about the fact I am not a driving instructor and that’s why he is still having lessons with his instructor, and I apologised, and explained the reasons, for the last minute changes. He was still a bit stressed!
Later that afternoon Eddie came downstairs and we had a chat about the experience and how it was important for him to learn from each drive, but also, how we could make sure we communicated better with each other. I reminded him of the car park sessions, only 6 weeks ago, and reinforced how well he is doing now.
On reflection, I realised I have forgotten how long I have been driving (41 years) and how I see things, whilst driving, that have been shaped by the years of experience, making mistakes and learning. I assume Eddie knows what I mean when I use terms like merge, filter and that he knows that people can join a road using a slip road. This is why I am not a driving instructor!
I helped all of my children learn to drive, and I think Eddie has a more stable, patient, relaxed version, of me, than Cloe or Jack had. Within the next couple of months, Eddie will be driving around on his own and that’s a ‘different’ worry for a parent but his independence grows and he will gather experiences so that one day (Not any time soon) he too will experience my emotional rollercoaster ride the he teaches his kids how to drive. I can’t wait to laugh about that!
Enjoy your week, be patient, relax and recognise that most people will get there in the end, and, you can’t grow without taking risks or getting out of that comfort zone.
Success begins with a goal, followed by an action plan. Small steps that gather momentum and need support and encouragement along the way.
What are you heading towards?